Marriage and Prayer

²But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. ³The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. ⁵Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.God's word is very frank and practical. It isn't afraid to directly address sensitive issues, or issues of practical importance.

What is being said here?
First, the obvious application of the passage: The preservation of the sanctity of marriage.

God acknowledges our natural appetites, and directs us to their proper and healthy uses.

Physical intimacy is sanctioned within marriage. [You might notice also, that there is no ambiguity about the relationship: one male, one female.]
More than sanctioned, the marriage covenant is elevated and sanctified in Hebrews 13.

Marriage is especially significant to a Christian because it is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His Church. -- but we will come to that point shortly.

What is required of husband and wife?

In contrast to the Shiite law which states that a man must be permitted to approach his wife every 4th day, the Bible requires that we respond to one another's affections. What this means is NOT a legalistic mark-the-days-on-the-calendar sense. Who wants their loved one to engage in a merely mechanical duty-based response? Yuck.

To belabour the point a little, the Bible is not a hard-and-fast-comply-at-gunpoint instruction in this matter. Every commandment is kept by loving (1) God and (2) one another.

As Christians we are to be available our spouses. No using intimacy as a leverage for behaviour modification. No punishing the spouse by withheld affection. Intimacy (at any level) is to be freely returned, because (and only because) of our mutual love. We have been made one, this motivates us to nurture the relationship. To fix quarrels quickly. To remain positive, kind and loving to one another. The only exception noted was fasting, and then only under an agreed circumstance. Recap: no unilateral withholding of intimacy with your spouse. (By the way... Men, this includes emotional intimacy.)

I Peter 3:7 shows a relationship between giving proper honor to your spouse and the effectiveness of your prayers. If you fail to honour your spouse (in this case, wife), it will inhibit your prayers.

REMEMBER: Marriage is to be a picture, or an echo of the relationship between Christ and His Church.

What does this tell us? First, that we should not think we who call Christ "Lord" can pick and choose which of his ways are worth following. He is Lord, or He is not. We can't have it both ways. He does not heap heavy burdens on us, and what he does ask of us is less than what He himself gave to us.

Second, since it tells us about our reasonable response to Christ, it also tells us about what we can expect about His reaction toward His bride (the Church).

He does not withdraw His affections. He is good. He has already given himself for His Church, and in so doing, proven His love for her. We should be confident that he hears and answers when we call.

Consider this, too: If natural marriage is given this instruction to safeguard the relationship between man and wife, so that they will delight in one another, and not seek some unlawful outside comfort, what does this tell us about Christ and his Church?

He is our delight. He is our delight in His PERSON, not just His benefits.

Would our good God and Saviour withdraw Himself from us? We are made to worship. We are "idol factories". If we do not find ourselves worshiping God, we worship elsewhere.

Whatever comfort, hope, identity, satisfaction or delight might lawfully be sought in God, is an abomination when sought in the Created Order. We cannot help ourselves, we worship. If God were to withdraw Himself, we would worship something else. Would a loving husband put his spouse intentionally into equivalent temptation? No! You can see a picture of how he guards and purifies his love in Hosea. Re-read that seldom-read Biblical book if you haven't lately.

Paul connects the dots in Ephesians. These (Eph 5:22-33) should be verses that inform and embolden us in our faith, and fan our love for the Lamb of God. They explicitly transpose some aspect of the unity and reciprocity of marriage to the mystery of Christ and His Church.

Four Constants -- Redemption

Say, heavenly pow'rs, where shall we find such love?
Which of ye will be mortal to redeem
Man's mortal crime, and just th' unjust to save.

-- John Milton, Paradise Lost (Book III 1.213)

You can determine the importance of a thing by the priority given to it.

Consider medical treatment, for example. The average healthy person would never voluntarily injest a chemical cocktail whose properties would cause hair loss, vomiting, appetite loss, weakness, lethargy, immunosuppresion, sleep disruptions, general malaise and a host of other unpleasant consequences. Not even on a dare or a bet.

Take that same person, and tell them that they have a form of cancer which responds very well to Chemotherapy. Though still unpleasant, it suddenly seems a small price to pay. Life, in this example, is shown to take priority over convenience.

In addressing God's Redemption of Creation, it is no exaggeration to say that we are examining the single most pivitol event of all Time.

How can that be said with confidence? By examining the priority given to it by God Himself in His Word. (I Peter 1.19,20-- But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a Lamb without blemish and without spot: who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,).

When did God foreordain this? Before Man ever rebelled, before He created man a living soul, and even before He said "let there be light," the sacrificial death of Jesus had already become an accomplished fact in the mind of God.

Let's back up a little...

Knowing, then, that this is the pivitol event in history, it is impossible to give a full accounting of it here.

Redemption, in a theological sense, is the complete reversal of the curse initiated in The Fall (see previous post). It is, principally, the final payment of the totality of divine Wrath upon Sin. Secondarily, it is the reconciliation -- by God -- of fallen man to Himself.

The redeemed -- as those who will benefit from redemption are called -- had the plan gradually revealed to them:

Adam and Eve, received the promise of the Messiah, and then had their ineffective fig-leaf coverings replaced, by God, with clothes made from the skins of animals, foreshadowing sacrificial death as the remedy for sin. (Genesis 3)

Notice that the promise of the final resolution of sin (Messiah, or Seed of the Woman) was given greater priority than the temporary, symbolic measure of animal sacrifice. Notice also that God prepared the skins FOR Adam and Eve, a foreshadowing of divine grace, apart from works.

There were countless other types and symbols throughout Biblical history: God's substitute for Issac, Noah's Ark, and Passover being only three of them.

Everything was setting the stage for the Great Event.

Keep in mind, the sacrifice must be: (1) Freely Offered. (2) Unblemished. (3) Of Sufficient Value to Redeem.

None in the natural family of man would be a suitable sacrifice. All of us are tainted, having received, through Adam, a fallen nature. A sacrifice suitable to God must free of Sin. The sacrifice must also be of adequate value.

The sacrifice had to be sufficient to satisfy God's wrath against man's sin, and it had to be holy.

The only way God could be true to His Holiness, at the same time as extending grace and compassion to His Image-bearer, is to have His Son receive the due penalty of Divine Wrath in man's place. Sin having been punished, those who are found to be "In Christ" could be reconciled to God.

Having seen what was accomplished, namely the propitiation of sin, the restoration of relationship with God, and even the beginnings of the reversal of our corruption, let us examine the cost.

The Triune God had to send His Son to rescue us. Jesus, fully-God and fully-Man, was born into obscurity, misunderstood, mistreated, betrayed, sold out, mocked, beaten, cursed, humiliated, spat upon, forced to carry a cross, His scalp pierced with a mock crown, stripped naked, and then whipped until he was unrecognizable as a man, and His back looked like a ploughed field. Then He was committed to a form of death so horrific that even the bloodthirsty Romans had to devise a new word to describe the suffering involved. The word? "Excruciating".

This was the price. But as we saw in the opening remarks, there are times when the price, as unpleasant as it may be, has a 'payoff' that outweighs the price.

Jesus shared in our every weakness as people, yet did not sin. He knew apprehension. He would recoil at pain. He slept and wept and ate. He even sweat blood while praying in the Garden the night of His arrest.

Jesus had a priority that outweighed the pain, the shame, and the horror He would endure. It is summed up nicely in one verse:

Hebrews 12:2 "...looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

What was the joy set before Him?
The result of the Cross: the Redemption of Man.

Such is His love for us.
(more here)

How Can a Good God?

The question is often heard: "How can a good (or loving) God..."

Stop me if you've heard these before.
"...let bad things happen to good people?"
"...send a good person to hell?"
"...let my loved one die?"
you could end this sentance with war, famine, fire flood, or a million other things.

The question remains basically unchanged.

How can we be expected to call God gracious/righteous/loving if He doesn't intervene to prevent the above from happening?

So what is a Christian to answer? For the most part, Christians today tend to skirt the issue, and the non-Christian is not impressed by our non-answers. In fact, our failure to provide an honest answer to this question is one reason non-Christians discredit our faith.

Don't we ourselves cringe inwardly when hearing (or God forbid, giving) these feeble explainations? (a) Man has free will, it's all his fault. (b)The Devil does bad things. (c)Sometimes these things just happen, and we don't know why.

Is the will of man or the devil so overwhelming that it can handcuff a magnificient, almighty and sovereign God? Is God himself a slave of capricious chance? If yes, what sort of an emasculated God is being offered us?!? May He forgive and correct us for our small view of him.

No. To answer the question, you must put the question itself on trial.

What is implied by the question?
1) A denegrated view of God.
God's Goodness/Mercy/Love is somehow deficient because of His inadequacy in (x) situation.
This assumes God's inability to assess the situation, know the players involved, to see from the vantage point of eternity, to see everything within the context of His greater plan, and to accomplish his will.
2) An exalted view of man.
A self-righteous sense of 'deserving better' than what happened. An inflated sense of man's moral objectivity, and understanding of the larger outcomes.

Isn't it interesting that it is always God's Love that goes on trial, as though that were not one of the most easily-defended traits he has?

Let us remember that it was not God's love that the angels proclaimed, but his Holiness, in the vision in Isaiah 6:3, repeated in Revelation 4:8. "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord of Hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory."

Let us pose this question in response. If God is so HOLY, how is Sinful man permitted ANY good thing in this life OR the next? The only thing God, in his perfect holiness owed us was judgement. Raw and unending. Let those who complain about not getting what they deserve, begin with what they truly deserve.

Those who feign interest in the consistancy of God's character must demand that He not excuse ANY of even their smallest sins, but demand the full penalty of each of them. They must thereafter decline the grace from the sacrifice of His Son. They'd have to, as it wouldn't be FAIR to let another take their well-deserved penalty on their behalf.

Let the rest of us enjoy the Grace (undeserved kindness) He has freely offered us.

My sin obligated a holy God to judge me. His love prompted Christ to take His wrath upon himself that I may live. And so I live.

Remember the answer God himself gave Job.
It was not: I had my reasons.
It was: I AM GOD.